Giving Up
by Sararingo
Summary: DESTROY ENDING. Commander Shepard has fought for a long, long time. Can she finally find peace facing down her own mortality? Paragon Femshep point of view. Romanced Garrus.
1. Chapter 1

"God…feels like years since I just…sat down."

Shepard gave a small, strangled chuckle at Anderson's words, her eyes lazily turning towards him. A haze filled her vision, but she stayed conscious, refusing to let them shut. She knew what would happen if she gave in to her exhaustion. She couldn't do that; after all…she had made a promise.

"I think you've earned a rest." she murmured, cracking a weak smile, able to taste the blood still on her tongue. Her whole body was screaming at her, begging for her to just give in, to let go. She ignored it as Anderson gave another groan, his eyelids fluttering.

"Stay with me." she breathed, gazing desperately at her superior, her comrade, her friend. "We're almost through this."

His head moved slowly, turning his eyes toward her, his voice low and breaking. "You did good, child. You did…good. I'm proud of you." he said quietly, setting a hand on hers. He squeezed it weakly. Her heart swelled with pride, and she held his hand tightly, feeling the tears burn in her eyes.

She turned her gaze toward him again, smiling. "Thank you, sir."

His grip on her hand had relaxed. She knew as soon as she looked at him, but the fear that gripped her heart was almost overwhelming. The only father she had ever known…

"Anderson?"

No reply. She stared at him for a few moments, before shutting her eyes, squeezing his hand once more. She gave a silent sob; this wasn't how she had wanted this to end. As her gaze lowered weakly to her arm, covered in her own lifeblood, she knew she wouldn't be long behind him. She would see him there in that bar, along with Ash, Mordin, Thane, and Legion. She'd wait as long as it took for the rest of their squad…she'd wait forever…

…

"Shepard? Commander!"

The voice broke through the haze in her mind, and Shepard realized to her distant horror that she had been fading. Her eyes snapped open and she cringed forward, grunting. She gasped weakly, the agony tearing through her side- she was positive she'd broken several bones. She'd lost a lot of blood. She had no idea how she was going to get out of this alive, or if she even would…but all she knew right now, is that Admiral Hackett needed her.

She would see this through to the end if it killed her.

"I- uh…what do you need me to do?" she managed out as she forced herself away from the Admiral, reluctantly letting go of his hand as she threw herself forward with a bit too much vigor, collapsing on the floor. She grunted, a dull throb in her head as she crawled towards the console, watching the red liquid drip onto the floor.

"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing."

She whimpered quietly, jerking her head back to look up at the console, moving with as much strength as she could muster towards it. She boldly moved a foot, trying to pick herself up. Pain shot through her leg, and she knew the bone was broken- with a muffled gasp, she collapsed back onto the ground.

"It's…got to be something on your end."

Admiral Hackett sounded confused, worried. She wondered absently if he had given up hope, or perhaps regretted pushing her like this.

"Commander Shepard!" the voice barked, and she gave another sob, propelling herself towards the console with one arm, leaving a blood trail in her wake. She reached a hand up, watching her print smear across the marble.

"I…don't see- I'm not sure how to…" she whimpered, confused. What did he want from her? Before she even knew what was happening, her eyes rolled back in her head, and the floor came rushing up to meet her.

"Commander!"

* * *

Her eyelids opened slowly, a fog before her vision as she began to force herself up. Her body didn't ache quite as much…was she dead? Was this it?

She lifted her head, gazing to the stars around here…and then to the figure walking towards her. Her brow furrowed in confusion. What was…

"Wake up."

His voice broke through her haze, and she grunted, staggering up to her feet. She put all her weight on the non-broken leg, standing haphazardly as she clutched her pistol in one hand, the other tightening around the wound in her side.

"What..? Where am I?" she managed out, looking towards the child. His form was the same as the boy that had haunted her dreams since she had left Earth…only she knew it wasn't that kid. It couldn't be, unless she was dead too. Her eyes scanned the area, wondering if she would see any of her old friends.

"The Citadel. It's my home."

She blinked once, looking back down at the boy.

"Who are you?"

"I am the Catalyst." his voice responded. It was bold, sounded angry. She didn't have the energy to care.

"I…though the Citadel was the Catalyst." she responded honestly.

"No." he replied curtly. "The Citadel is part of me."

She had no idea what the hell was going on. A dull pain was still throbbing throughout her whole body. Desperately, she looked up at the boy again, croaking out, "I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?"

"Perhaps."  
Her eyes lit up with hope.  
"I control the Reapers. They are my solution."

She watched him walk away, puzzled. "The…solution to what?"

He stopped briefly, turning to glance back at her. "Chaos." his voice echoed, and she just watched him go, her eyes squinting through the bloody fog surrounding her brain.

At a loss for what else to do, she began following him, her eyes still moving around the starry area. She could see ships exploding around them, and her heart ached with worry. How was her crew? Was Garrus okay? When she had seen the Mako blow up and nearly flatten him and Liara, she knew that they couldn't come along…turning him away after he had been on her six since they'd met had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, but she knew it was for the best. She couldn't handle the thought of losing him. She couldn't let that become a reality.

The boy continued walking, uninterested in her pain. "The created will always rebel against their creators. But we found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order."

Her eyes narrowed again, and she tried to straighten her back, growling a little. "By…wiping out organic life?"

The boy stopped abruptly; it seemed she had struck a nerve. Immediately, he turned back to face her.

"No. We harvest advanced civilizations, leaving the younger ones alone." He turned again, continuing on towards the beacon in the middle of the room. "Just as we left your people the last time we were here."

She didn't have the strength to think of the possibilities of what this…_thing_ was saying to her. She just numbly continued walking behind him, suddenly coughing up a minute amount of blood.

"But you..killed the rest." she breathed out, not bothering to wipe her mouth off.

"We helped them ascend so they could make way for new life, storing the old life in Reaper form." he corrected, looking out to some of the Reapers nearby the Citadel, apparently oblivious or simply not acknowledging her presence so close by.

"I think we'd rather keep our own form." Shepard spat venomously, scowling at the child before her.

"No, you can't." he demanded, turning back to face her, the face impassive. "Without us to stop it, synthetics will destroy all organics. We've created the cycle so that never happens. That's the solution."

She shut her eyes, releasing a slow breath, trying to steady her body. She wanted nothing more than to just lay down and sleep, but she had to keep standing. She knew she was close to the end. She was almost there.

"But you're taking away our future…without future, we have no hope. Without hope…" she stifled a weak, bitter laugh, "…we might as well be machines programmed to do what we're told."

The Catalyst looked up to her. "You have hope." he looked back to the beacon. "More than you think. The fact that you are standing here, the first organic ever, proves it."

She knew she should probably be humbled by that, but she felt nothing. She just wanted this to be over.

"…but it also proves my solution won't work anymore."

She peered towards the child, unsure what he was getting at.

"So now what?" she breathed, figuring she might as well humor him. What else could she do, after all?

"We find a new solution."

Her head throbbed dully, and she felt like she was going to be sick all of a sudden. "Why are you telling me this?" she forced out, clenching her jaw. "Why help me?"

"You have altered the variables."

She gasped, cringing with the pain in her side as her body screamed at her to rest. "What do you mean?" she hissed.

"The Crucible changed me. Created new…possibilities. But I can't make them happen. If there is to be a new solution, you must act. It is now in your power to destroy us."

She looked at him, confused. Why was this thing, this…AI allowing her the option? She didn't understand…but she didn't care. She'd take the opportunity. She needed to end this war, for the sake of the galaxy- for the sake of all the people she loved.

An image flashed in her hand- she saw Anderson walking towards the red console, gunshots blasting in front of him, intent on ridding the universe of the Reapers once and for all. Her eyes rolled back briefly and she felt like she was about to faint. She put out a foot, steadying herself as she grimaced.

"But be warned; others will be destroyed as well. The Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetics will be targeted. Even you are partially synthetic."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously- could she really trust this thing to tell her the truth? This thing that controlled the Reapers like they were pets? She had her doubts, but she listened patiently.

"What exactly will happen?" she demanded.

"Your Crucible device appears to be largely intact. However, the effects of the blast will not be constrained to the Reapers. Technology you rely on will be affected, but those who survive should have little difficulty repairing the damage."

Shepard fell silent for a few moments, gazing at the floor, considering the idea. The boy couldn't be telling the truth…she refused to believe him.

"There will still be losses. But no more than what has already been lost."

"But the Reapers will be destroyed?" she forced out again, her breathing becoming labored.

"Yes, but the peace won't last." the boy said simply, as if it was inevitable. It made her fist tighten around the pistol. "Soon, your children will create synthetics, and then the chaos will come back."

"There has to be another way…" she murmured.

"There is. You could instead use the energy of the Crucible to seize control of the Reapers."

Her gaze shifted to the side opposite of the red console, and a flash of the Illusive Man, struggling against the energy, burned itself into her brain. She blinked rapidly, frowning.

"So..the Illusive Man was right after all." she whispered with a grim sigh.

"Yes. But he could never have taken control…because we already controlled him."

She said nothing for a moment, before replying. "But I can?"

"You will die. You will control us, but you will lose everything you have."

She looked at him incredulously. "How can I control the Reapers if I'm dead?"

He turned to face her fully. "Your corporeal form will be dissolved, but your thoughts, and even your memories, will continue. You will no longer be organic. Your connection to your kind will be lost, though you will remain aware of their existence."

She stared at the boy. How could she do that? Allow herself to take control of the monstrosities that were the Reapers? She had seen the horrors that they had inflicted on every species in the galaxy- she couldn't let herself do that. There was no way in _hell_ she would even think about it. No, these sons of bitches needed to die…but she kept her face straight, refusing to show the Catalyst what she was thinking.

"I didn't fight this war so I could give up everything I have." she murmured venomously, her eyes narrowing at the consoles before her.

"And I do not look forward to being replaced by you, but…I would be forced to accept it."

Would he? If she moved towards the console for Controlling the Reapers, would he just…let her? What was stopping him from simply killing her? It's not like it would take much at this point.

"Not if I refuse to do it." she returned.

"There is another solution." the boy said patiently, and she followed his gaze to the beam in the middle.

"Synthesis."

"And that is?" she asked expectantly. Her breathing was becoming more and more difficult.

"Add your energy to the Crucible's. The chain reaction will combine all synthetic and organic life into a new framework. A new…DNA."

He wanted her to gene-rape her friends? To destroy the very fundamental nature of their bodies? No…that was just wrong. That was more power than she could ever even imagine to handle. Who was she to play God with their genetic makeups?

"I…I don't know." she answered honestly, turning her gaze to the floor again, brow furrowing.

"Why not?" the boy asked expectantly, and she growled quietly. "Synthetics are already part of you. Can you imagine your life without them?"

"That's beside the point." she muttered.

"Your time is at an end. You must decide."

She frowned, her head lolling back to the side, gazing at the choices before her.  
"…let's get this over with."


	2. Chapter 2

"Do what you must."

Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, withtaking a slow breath of air as she began limping forward, her gaze grim. She stared at the beacon in front of her. If the Catalyst was telling the truth…that was the best choice. To combine all life and bring them to a new enlightened state, but…what if he was lying? She didn't know what to trust. She didn't understand. This had all been too much for her to handle.

She groaned, exhaling between her teeth as she limped up the ramp, staggering and nearly collapsing. Her eyes flickered to the side, to where the Catalyst stood, unmoving, not even attempting to stop her. Dread welled up in her body. What if…he _was_ telling the truth. If she did this…would she kill EDI? Would she kill the Geth, after Legion had sacrificed himself for them?

She inhaled desperately, picking herself back up as she lifted the pistol, aiming it towards the console and taking a shot. It ricocheted off, flying who knows where.

"Come on…" she whispered desperately, clenching her jaw as her hand lowered from her side, picking up speed as she walked faster, finger pulling again and again. "Come on!"

Tears burned at her eyes as she took shot after shot.

Anderson…the only father she had ever known. The one man who had always believed her. He was gone, and soon she'd be joining him.

EDI…was this going to end her? Would this destroy the friend that she had come to love as much as any of the rest of her crew, when she had initially simply been part of the _Normandy_? Could she do this to her?

…Garrus.

Oh, Garrus.

Her heart ached for her lover, her best friend, the one who had stood beside her through thick and thin. Images pulsed through her brain, as if her mind was desperately trying to get her body to stop pulling that damned trigger.

She recoiled back as fire shot out at her, bringing up her other hand to reinforce the pistol. The explosions around her had dulled to a quiet thud in her ears as tears poured from her eyes, clenching her jaw as she desperately pulled the trigger.

She hadn't cried in so long. She didn't cry when she had been forced to leave Ashley behind on Virmire. She didn't sob when Mordin sacrificed himself to cure the krogan people of the genophage. When Thane had been stabbed by Kai Leng, she didn't weep over his form. When Legion uploaded his own consciousness, she did not shed a tear. She was Commander Shepard- she couldn't afford to stop and mourn those that had been lost.

Only now, now in the face of her own demise, did she sob for all that she had lost. All the lives that this war had stolen. And she wept for her own life, for the life that would be robbed from her and from the one being she loved more than anything else in the whole world- Garrus Vakarian.

There was a sudden explosion and fire enveloped her, blasting her back; her pistol flew out of her hand. Her eyes widened- she felt nothing but the floor dropping out from under her, and suddenly a piece of shrapnel flew out of the smoke, slamming into her skull.

There was nothing but darkness.

The first thing she realized was the light sound of waves.

Slowly, her eyes opened. She felt the cool brush of water against her cheek, and she frowned.

What was this?

She moved a hand forward, squinting. There was no blood; her hand was clean, bare.

_"Come on, skipper."_

_Shepard cringed, shutting her eyes weakly. This…torture again? What kind of cruel deity ruled over this galaxy, forcing her to relive all the mistakes she'd made, forcing her to hear the voices of all those that had been left to die?_

_"It doesn't suit you, laying in the sand like that."_

_Her eyes opened again, puzzled. Her eyes flickered up, seeing a hand extended to her. She followed the slender arm up to the shoulder…and her eyes widened to see Ashley Williams looking back at her, smiling._

_"Ash…" Shepard whispered, her voice breaking. She lifted a hand, taking the woman's and pulling herself up._

_"Come on, skipper, don't get all teary-eyed on me." she said with a light laugh, patting the Commander's shoulder._

_Shepard stared at her, confused; her eyes adjusted, turning out to the ocean. Distantly, her gaze followed the flow of the water down to her bare feet, watching as the suds washed over them._

_"Oh…I get it. I'm dead, right?" she said quietly, the memories beginning to come back to her. So. This was it._

_"No. Not yet."_

_She blinked, puzzled. That wasn't the answer she had been looking for. Her eyes flickered to the side, but instead of Ashley standing before her, she saw a familiar orange salarian squatting in the sand, picking up seashells._

_"Mordin," she breathed, her voice cracking again. He looked up at her, smiling._

_"Commander Shepard." he responded with a patient nod. Shepard reached out a hand, gently touching his shoulder. The figure stood up, sniffing once._

_"Not your time. Not yet. Have to pick yourself up. Get back to the crew. Back to the Normandy." the doctor spoke, though not exactly with the same hurried tone he had had in life. Perhaps because time was no longer running out for him. He lifted a hand, patting the one that still rested on him._

And as soon as she had blinked, it was all gone. Pain erupted throughout her body and she gave a loud gasp, her whole chest heaving forward as her eyes opened.

"Mnngh..!" she groaned. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to adjust them to the darkness around her. There was nothing but silence. She grunted, hissing with pain as she tried to move her legs, but they were unresponsive. Disobedient.

She felt some rubble stabbing her in the back, and she tried to adjust her arms, pulling her body upward. Her form quivered with exhaustion, the exertion just feeling like far too much for her to handle. She had been so damn ready to just die when she had been sitting with Anderson; she had said her goodbyes to those she loved, but now…she was alive?

Her mind wandered to what the Catalyst had said- that technology as they knew it would be damaged. With that initial thought, the hope sparked out of her eyes; there was likely no way people would consider anyone survived the blast. She'd be out here for…who knew how long.

She groaned, adjusting a hand, putting it to the large wound at her side; it seemed the blast had cauterized it. That was good, at least. About the only good news she had. Maybe she wouldn't bleed out- no, she could look forward to the long and painful death of hunger and thirst.

Great.

She sighed silently, laying her head back as she once again shimmied her body to the side, trying to move off of the damn rubble that was still gouging her spine. If she was going to die here, she wanted to at least be comfortable.

After several long…minutes? Hours? She had no idea how long it was. She managed to adjust her body, moving it just to the side of the jutting rock. She gave a whisper of relief, her eyes shutting again as she laid her head back. Her hair was matted on her face, the blood from the shrapnel wound caking around her eyes. She didn't care. She just hoped that whomever found her body would clean her up before her crew saw her like this.

Her eyes steadily opened again, her heart aching. Her crew. Did they make it out in time? Was Garrus okay, after all his injuries? Was EDI…

Her body shuddered. EDI…god, EDI, she hoped she was okay. And the Geth…what if they hadn't made it out alive, either…

She let out a hacking cough, blood bubbling up out of her mouth, combined with bile and saliva. She weakly turned her head to the side, allowing it to dribble out so she didn't choke to death.

What absolute misery.

Her eyelids fluttered. "Garrus," she mumbled, hoping somewhere, somehow, he heard her and was coming to find her. She didn't want to die.

That one thought. That sheer, primitive thought caused her eyes to shut again, a small tear streaming down the side of her face, streaking through the grime and blood.

She didn't want to die.

She wanted to live. She wanted to go back to her crew, to tell them how _proud_ she was of all they had accomplished, how she never would have been able to do it without them. She wanted to thank Admiral Hackett for believing in her. She wanted to give a proper memorial to all those that they'd lost. To Admiral Anderson.

She wanted to meet Garrus again and hug him. To tell him that she was done going on crazy-ass suicide missions and risking her life all the time. She wanted to stay with him, to grow old together and adopt a whole mess of kids to raise as their own, and to die peacefully in their sleep together, with the people they love around them.

She gave another strangled sob, the tears falling freely now. She shut her eyes, shaking her head, letting it loll to the side.

"_Siha_."  
_  
Her eyes snapped open, and she was standing again, staring out at sea. A warm hand was clasped upon her shoulder. She turned her eyes to look at the drell standing beside her._

_"Thane." she says warmly, her smile broadening. He returns the kind gesture._

_"You can't give in, siha. Not when you're so close." he murmured, turning to face her entirely. He reached out, gently taking her hands in his. "Commander Shepard never gives up."_

_He smiled. She just stared at him, puzzled, and with another blink, it's all gone again._

She grunts, lifting her head. Something was falling on her. Rain?

Yeah…rain.

She weakly opened her eyes. How long had she been out? What time was it? The day had turned to night and the skies were clouded over. She opened her mouth, catching as much water as she could, swallowing it desperately. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was.

She closed her eyes, letting the the weather rinse her. The cool sensation was cleansing. The matted hair that clung to her face was washed out of her vision, and she could feel the blood draining off her wounds. She was thankful for the first time since she had heard Admiral Hackett's message.

She still didn't hear anything other than the gentle patter of rainfall, washing away the blood and dirt that had been dredged up in the battle. She wondered how the Admiral was doing- how the fleets were doing. How many people had been lost?

Her expression darkened, squinting up against the rainfall. Would it had been better if she had taken another choice? Did she make the right decision?

She coughed, grimacing with pain as the movements wracked her broken form.

She could hear something in the distance. Voices, maybe. She knew she should probably shout out, try and do something to get their attention…but she was just…so tired. She couldn't move her arms anymore. About the only thing she had control of anymore was her eyes.

"Mnh.." she groaned, head rolling to the side of the rock it rested on, falling off of it and banging her head against the edge. She hissed with pain, but did nothing else, feeling the blood pool in her hair. Damn…she was just making it worse.

She wasn't sure how she wasn't dead yet. She was ready to give up. She knew that she was drifting in between life and death- why else would she be seeing those that had been lost during this damned war?

"Come on…" she croaked, eyes fluttering shut. "Just let me go already."

_"Shepard-Commander."_

_The soft swish of the waves met her ears as she turned her gaze to the right, smiling at the Geth standing before her, his N7 armor glistening in the sunlight._

_"Legion," she said with a smile, stepping forward him, her barefeet warm in the sand. She reached a hand out, gently setting it on his shoulder. The glowing orb of his eyeball moved up, examining her face._

_"Legion, I…" she began, fear suddenly taking hold of her voice. The Geth…were they really gone? Had she really destroyed a whole race, ones that had just achieved sentience, for the sake of killing the Reapers once and for all?_

_Legion lifted a hand, and she stared at him, surprised as it gently set on hers._

_"Every war must have sacrifices." he said calmly, staring back at her. Shepard watched him, and before she could react, she felt water pouring down her cheeks._

_"I'm so sorry, Legion…" she breathed, but the Geth just patted her hand again, bowing his head._

"Nngh!" she gasped suddenly, feeling something touching her. She squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering. The bug seemed to take pity on her, as it scurried off her face rapidly.

Her blue eyes lazily opened again.

Ah…she could see the stars now.

"Mmn…" she moaned, a weak smile forming on her face. She wondered how everyone was doing. She wondered if Wrex and Bakara were doing well. She hoped that they had a whole bunch of kids. When she had first met Wrex, she had been extremely wary of him; it was the first time she had ever encountered a Krogan personally. But he had proven himself to her- she helped him regain his family armor, stood by her and Garrus when they took down Saren, and trusted her with the fate of his people.

_"I want you to know that no matter what happens, you've been a champion to the Krogan people. A friend of Clan Urdnot. And a sister to me. To every Krogan born after this day, the name 'Shepard' will mean 'hero!' Now let's show them why!"_

She smiled at the memory, which seemed so distant now. Wrex was one of her best friends. She wondered if he'd be pissed when he found out she died. Or perhaps disappointed.

…maybe even sad.

_"Commander!"_

_She turned her whole form, looking back at the crew standing behind her. Navigator Pressly smiled at her, stepping forward and slapping his shoes together, offering her a rigid salute. The crewmen behind her- Silas Crosby, Hector Emerson, Germeen Barret, everyone that had died in the crash of the SSV1- followed suit. Her eyes widened as she looked at them all, at a loss…before she finally straightened her back. She clenched her jaw, standing up straight and gave a salute in return._

_"Pressly. Crewmen. Thank you." she said calmly, a smile forming on her features. Pressly just returned the grin, falling at ease._

As she faded back into consciousness, Shepard's eyelids fluttered open, flickering to the side. She could hear voices again. She couldn't make out any words.

A few beams of light peered down through the holes in the rubble above her. It was daylight already. Her mouth felt so dry…how long had it been since it had rained? She tried to move her legs, but they still refused. What a miserable woman she was…lying here in her own blood and filth, unable to even call to the help that sounded no more than a few yards away.

This was it. She could feel her body deteriorating, shutting down entirely; she couldn't even move her head anymore.

"I'm so sorry…Garrus.." she sighed, her eyelids fluttering. She thought she could see him there, standing over her, gently caressing her cheek. The corners of her lips perked up weakly, and she tried to move a hand up to return the favor, but they felt like lead.

She had really tried. She had tried to stay awake and alive as long as she could, but there was only so much she could handle. It had to have been days by now.

Ashley, Mordin, Thane, Legion, Pressly, the crew that she'd lost…she couldn't do it.

_"Don't give up now, Shepard. You _can't_ give up now._"

_She looked away from Pressly, and as she turned to the left, she saw Anderson standing there in his formal blues, arms clasped behind his back, standing at attention._

_Pain clutched her heart, and finally, she took in a weak gasp of air, tears streaking her cheeks as she moved towards the man. She clutched him tightly, sobbing- and he merely held her, patting her hair._

_"Shhh, child." he whispered, resting his cheek against her, shutting his eyes. "You can't give up yet. Just hold on. Hold on."_

_"Anderson, I…I'm so tired. I'm ready to just let go." she managed out, burying her face in his shoulder. She felt him heave a silent sigh, shaking his head._

_"Commander, you cannot."_  
_Shepard's head jerked up, and her eyes widened with horror to see EDI standing behind Anderson._

_Oh, God._  
_The Catalyst had been telling the truth._

_The tears fell anew with raw regret, and Anderson released her, patting her back gently as the woman moved to embrace the synthetic, her throat raw._

_"EDI…I-…" she began, not knowing what to say._

_The synthetic stood stock still, as if she was unsure what to do. Slowly, cautiously, she lifted her hands, gently moving the arms around her Commander's back._

_"…Commander. Every war must have its sacrifices." she said quietly. "Do not mourn for me. Just make sure that Jeff is okay. …he needs you. He needs something stable in his life again. Please, you cannot give up."_

_Shepard's lips quivered, parting from EDI. The synthetic smiled gingerly, and the Commander turned her gaze._

_Thane, Mordin, Ashley, Legion, Anderson, Pressly and all of her crewmen stood behind them, watching. The water rippled over all of their bare feet, and as Shepard stared, she realized that there was more than just those she personally had lost standing around her._

Her eyes fluttered open. The voices were closer. Weakly, she rolled her head back with newfound strength.

"Help." she gasped.

_Asari were everywhere; turians, krogan, geth, quarians all stood nearby, smiling, watching her. Humans just nodded, smiled, clapped, everything._

And then her eyes settled on a little boy in a gray jacket.

"Help…!" she cried desperately, her voice coming out just barely over a whisper. "Please…"

_"Go and live your life, Shepard." Anderson spoke gently. Mordin smiled, nodding once, Ashley on his other side. Thane just bowed his head, his hands clasped together in prayer. Legion watched serenely. EDI, too, offered a smile as she held her hands before her body. "Live your life. For all of us."_

"We've got someone! Over here!"

Shepard's eyes fluttered open again to see several hands above her, moving rubble out from above her. She squinted, groaning as the sunlight met her gaze in full.

"Holy shit, is that-"

"WE'VE GOT SOMEONE HERE! SHE'S ALIVE!"

"Is that really-"

Shepard faded in and out of consciousness, just whimpering weakly. "Garrus?" she cried again, her voice barely above a hoarse whisper, but no one seemed to hear her, and she wondered for a moment if she had even said it out loud.

As her eyes closed again, she stood alone on a beach, water brushing over her feet. She gazed out to the sea, a soft smile gracing her features.

* * *

Shepard's head jerked up, away from the pillow, her eyes wide. The silence of the room was almost deafening. Her eyes flickered to the side, feeling something holding her hand.

A turian sat beside her, kneeling on the floor, his head resting against the bed she lay in. Both of his taloned hands were wrapped around hers, clutching desperately as he dozed. He was in casual wear, but she could see the bulk of bandages beneath his clothing. No doubt he was supposed to be resting somewhere.

"Garrus." she breathed, smiling as she reached her other hand forward, her fingers gently grazing the top of his fringe. His eyes opened slowly, but upon seeing her gazing at him, his whole form lifted.

"Shepard." he whispered back, moving forward and wrapping her in a hug. She grimaced with pain; he had been a little too rough, but she didn't say anything, just lifting her arms and moving them around him instead. "Spirits, Shepard…I'm so glad you're awake. I thought I'd never see you again. The doctors said they didn't know when you'd snap out of it."

"How long was I out?" she asked softly, the turian gently releasing her, though he didn't move too far. He sat down on the edge of her bed, gazing at her, the blunt side of his talons brushing against her arm.

"It's been two weeks since the Reapers were defeated. The _Normandy_ crash-landed on Eden Prime; we worked as quickly as we could to come find you. We didn't give up on you…I didn't give up on you." he murmured, gently lifting a hand to her cheek, stroking it with the pad of his thumb.

She smiled gingerly, resting her head against his touch. She had been so terrified that she may never feel his gentle hands again.

"…after the Reapers were destroyed, EDI stopped working. It was like she had just…shut down. And the Geth, well…" he began, his eyes downcast. He knew how much Shepard had cared for EDI, and how deeply she believed in giving the Geth a future. She had united all of the races in a way no one had ever dreamed possible; she believed, over anything else, that everyone deserved a chance.

"I know." she murmured quietly, looking away. He looked at her, confused, perhaps curious…but he chose to leave it at that.

"Well." he said finally, his mandibles audibly clicking as he stood up slowly, tightening his grip on her hand once more before releasing her. "I better let everyone know that you're all right. The waiting room is stuffed with people wanting to see you."

Commander Shepard just smiled, reaching a hand out and grasping his again before he walked out. He stopped, looking back at her.

"I love you, Garrus. Thank you for always believing in me." she said softly.

He turned, moving back towards her, gently lowering his forehead to meet hers.

"I love you too, Shepard. And thank you for never giving up hope."


End file.
